Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
