You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
