This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
