She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
