Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You've changed since you got that strap on
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
