When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
