this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
