Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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