Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize