How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize