her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
