My room smells like vodka and shame
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
