I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
being pregnant is like rehab
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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