it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
