we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize