so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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