Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
