I cockslap morals
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
