don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
