Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
