he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
