I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
