dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize