He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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