i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize