My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
