Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
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