I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
