Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
