Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
