JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
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