wrigley field is MILF paradise
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
you will always have a special place in my vag
should my penis look like a turkey
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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