He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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