i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
