quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
