He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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