pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
