Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The struggles of a small town man whore
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
