I think i sorta joined a cult last night
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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