nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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