its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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