I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
