I need help removing her.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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