Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
