worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
