those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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