she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I licked your asshole in confidence.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
