I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
