billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
