look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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