nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
