This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
