I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
the day after is always just damage control
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
