I can tuck mytits in my pants
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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