I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
