we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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