He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
