You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
