part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
