im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize