We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Someone signed my nipple.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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