Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
