just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
